Jury Duty part I
Today I had the joy of being herded around the Mitchell Courthouse like cattle in the demeaning, exhausting and demoralizing experience that is petit Jury Duty in our fair city of Baltimore. This process is a shimmering beacon of beaurocratic inefficiency for the world to behold. This whole take a number, go here, verify this, sign this, swear this, take a lunch break, here’s-your-compensation-which-will-not-cover-your-lunch-and-parking fiasco was comparable to only one experience in my life, which would be behing herded around by the United States Army. The difference is, when the Army herds you around, there are plenty of soldiers telling bullshit stories about “no shit, there I was…” and making fun of the pogue medical and admin soldiers doing the processing. The BS is entertaining, and thus makes the process run much more smoothly.
I am not known for my ability to sit still for very long, so at the risk of missing my number being called, I explored the courthouse, occasionally stopping back in the Juror waiting room to “check in”. The guy behind the desk kept giving me the evil eye, as I was upsetting the natural balance of things by constantly coming and going, and possibly not obeying the strict orders he laid out for us AT LENGTH when we first arrived (and were forced to watch this Jury Duty orientation video from the mid 1980’s).
I wandered into the land records library and looked up some information on my property. I could have spent all day in there looking up old maps, but I had to get back to sitting around waiting.
The movies they had playing (I have to give them credit for the A/V setup, which allowed announcements and videos to be played in 3 rooms on 2 floors) were Meet the Parents and Happy Feet. I hate Ben Stiller with the burning passion of 1000 suns, and was in no way entertained by dancing CGI penguins, so I tried to catch some Z’s in the back of the room.
At around 3 they called a bunch of us to sit on a Jury Panel. I kind of felt like the price is right, except instead of winning money, you go to another room to sit and wait forever. They whittle down the 60 people in the room to 11 jurors. Just when they have a full jury selected, the lawyers want to change it up for some reason, and then they pick a few more from the bunch and see if they will work out. I was the LAST one picked, at 5:00 pm, and now I have to come back tomorrow to actually hear the trial.
To be honest, I was hoping to get selected, as I want to sit in on a trial and be a part of the process, but i was under the impression that it would be a “same day” affair. So, now that I must sacrifice another crucial day of self employment to the City, you get to hear me bitch about it on my blog.
Oh yeah… when they dismissed all the jurors who were not selected, someone started cheering and clapping, and got himself a good stern talking to by a very pissed off judge. I thought it was hilarious.
Tune in tomorrow for part II
-C
October 8th, 2008 at 7:08 pm
In Rockville, they have jigsaw puzzles in the jury room, and the compensation more than covered my lunch in the building’s cafeteria. I might have gotten a chance to serve on a jury in a trial that the judge decided to hear after dinner, but I had to eliminate myself because I turn into a pumpkin after dark. Had I known I would have taken a bus.